Poor old Planet Rock, twice passed from pillar to post, when all they want to do is rrrrrock. What do we make of Mr Bauer’s shiny new purchase?

Listened In is 2ZY’s weekly air-check blog. Every week we listen to a random twenty minute sample of a station or programme in the news.

WHO Paul Anthony

WHAT Planet Rock

WHEN Tuesday 12 February

Logo of Planet Rock

Planet Rock logo

0809 Red Rain/Pete Gabriel

0812 Link: Back Announce, Timecheck. “Comin’ up, Hit the Breaks with EBC Brakes” Your chance to win … a mug.

Trampled Under Foot/Led Zeppelin

0817 ID: UK – You Rock, Planet Rock, where Rock Lives.

Common Man/Black Country Communion

0822 Back Announce, Timecheck. “On the way, Hit the Breaks then.” And Paul sells it with the line “Win that fine piece of porcelain.”

Dry ID: Planet Rock Travel: M80 Falkirk, M1 Derbyshire, M1 Northamptonshire, M25 Swanscombe.

ID: First there was rock, then there was mortgage, then there were the kids. Now there is rock again. Welcome Home! Planet Rock, where Rock Lives.

Closer to the Heart/Rush

Link: Back Announce, Timecheck. Intros Hit the Breaks with a massively long sponsor tag. “Three artists to identify, simply from their  guitar breaks. If you’re plucked from my placcy bag today, you could win this fine piece of porcelain, available from the Planet Rock merch store.” Plays nicely-produced audio.

0828 Easy Livin’/Uriah Heep

SUMMARY

Well, Sound Women would have their work cut out here. Unashamedly Dad-Rock, with only one in four songs under twenty years old. Clichéd imaging growly voice-over? Check. Leather effect website background? Check. Cheesy feature titles? Check.

There’s some bizarre imaging going on, like a bed-less traffic introduced by a dry voiceover – and that mortgage liner. Which you could argue TOTALLY gets the audience – or TOTALLY excludes anyone under 50.

Paul’s a solid enough presenter, but there’s no obvious passion for these songs. His links are structured in the same way. No endorsement, no train-spotter facts. Even his lines around the admittedly clever Hit the Breaks (sponsored by a brakes firm) sound read straight off the page.

Which is odd. Buried away in this schedule are the still-brilliant-if-you-like-that-kind-of-thing  Nicky Horne and former (edited night-time show) Breakfast host Alice Cooper.

If Bauer can take the quirk and indie spirit from elsewhere in the schedule, and add their nous for station sound and marketing, and hey, maybe even a woman or two, Planet Rock could be worth turning up. To eleven, obviously.

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